Thirty-year-old Na is a tomboy in a culture that has never had tomboys.  She sports several tattoos on her left arm, all of which she designed.  One is an ode to her mother, another to her father, and one can best be described as a still life of a typical Vietnamese dinner.  She graduated with a degree in graphic design, but like most of the young, educated people in Saigon (and elsewhere in the country) she cannot find a good paying job.  Unemployment among the young is caused by several challenges: lack of high-paying jobs, inferior education, and the prohibitively high cost of obtaining a work visa to travel to another country.  The Vietnam government requires a balance of $50,000 U.S. dollars in a bank account (subject to forfeiture for failure to return timely) before granting a visa.  As noted in my post, Choreographed Chaos, and in Melissa’s most recent post, Na works about 20 hours a day at three jobs: tour guide, bartender assistant, and freelance graphic designer.  She sleeps about 3 hours a day.

Na grew up in the rural area outside Da Nang.  Her father was an alcoholic who suffered a nearly fatal stroke.  Her mother, despite years of abuse from her husband, decided to sell the family farm and home in order to get medical treatment for her comatose husband.  Miraculously, he survived and turned over a new leaf.  The house, farm and any savings for the children, however, were lost. Undaunted, Na got herself through school, moved to Saigon, negotiated a divorce in a country not known for being particularly gracious to young women who divorce, and has thrived.  She earned a scholarship of sorts to study in Thailand next year and hopes to use that degree to immigrate to Australia. Through it all, she has a healthy, humble confidence, a lively sense of humor, and an endearing love and affection for her parents, especially her father despite his mishaps.  Apparently, one night before his stroke, Na’s father and Na got somewhat intoxicated together.  Na’s mother locked both of them out of the house for the night.  Na and her dad slept in hammocks in what I think would be the stable for the water buffalo.  It was, Na said, a bit stinky and the mosquitoes were annoying.  

I am not sure how typical this is, but Na is the second young, smart, entrepreneurial woman we met who is divorced.  At least one other woman we met, the wonderful thirty year old woman in Ha Noi who made Melissa’s dress, although not divorced, shared with us her marital troubles mostly stemming from a traditional husband who has no sympathy or respect for how hard she works.  He demands that she wait on him despite her incredible long hours running her successful business.  Add in childcare duties, cooking and cleaning and you have a recipe for a very loveless marriage.  The conversation (actually more like her monologue) began with her noting that she admired how affectionate we were with each other.  We hurt for her. 

I sense in many of the stories we have heard a country, especially the young people in this country, moving incredibly rapidly through difficult and convulsive growing pains. Women are asserting their right to economic and personal freedom.  Technology is forcing open an even wider chasm between young and old.  Traditional customs like multi-generational living arrangements are under constant pressure.  The restrictions imposed by the communist government, though significantly moderated in recent years, are chafing the younger generation.  It feels like a dam about to burst unless a way can be found to ease the pressure.   

Post Script: We realize there is considerable overlap between some of our posts. Yet, we both feel the need to record our observations and reactions. We have been married thirty years, but trying to coordinate each post would be more than we could conquer. Hope you don’t mind.